Another word used to mean the same thing is surrender. People say we should surrender to what is, stop resisting reality, let go of trying to control everything. It’s about moving from [...]]]> Letting go is something that coaches and spiritual teachers often talk about – but what does it mean? How can we actually do it? 

Another word used to mean the same thing is surrender. People say we should surrender to what is, stop resisting reality, let go of trying to control everything. It’s about moving from a space of fear – to one of love. But in this masculine patriarchal world that many of us live in – love is not taken seriously. What can ‘love’ have to do with business – and most importantly – successful business?

Well, I think love is the KEY to successful business. If you love your customers, if you love your staff, if you love your shareholders – how could you be unsuccessful?

Holding this kind of contrary viewpoint takes courage – it goes against what we are taught. And I believe that by letting go – we learn to love ourselves, to love what is and to love others without trying to fix them or their problems for them.

So, if you are one of my many readers who are “Type A” personalities – and like myself you need to LET GO more – you may like this poem written by Louise Hay herself. I was inspired when I received it in my email this morning (I’m a member of the Hay House Wisdom Community) and I hope it helps and inspires you too. Thanks Louise!

Letting Go

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To “let go” is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.

To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.

To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.

To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To “let go” is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.

To “let go” is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To “let go” is to fear less and love more.

AND I’ve been making some changes and taking action! Recuperating from surgery gave me plenty of time to think about what I want to do with my life, what I enjoy, learn [...]]]> So, you may have noticed  I’ve been keeping a low profile lately. I’ve been busy both recovering from major surgery and enjoying the summer.

AND I’ve been making some changes and taking action! Recuperating from surgery gave me plenty of time to think about what I want to do with my life, what I enjoy, learn more about self-care and ponder how I want to make a difference. So:

1) I finally got together with friend and colleague Christina Richard to run an introductory seminar on Salt Spring Island about Women’s Intuition. This has been a goal of mine for a while so it felt really good! Christina is a trained intuitive, as well as the illustrator and graphic designer who helped create the Rebel Women Cafe logo!  I just love working with people when everyone is passionate about the same things! And with this workshop we introduced women to some simple tools to ground and reconnect with themselves, to learn to trust their own inner wisdom, to value themselves and learn that they already have everything inside of them that they need…

2) And inspired by our workshop, I’ve created a brand new 3 page worksheet called “Reconnect with your Heart”. This worksheet uses a symbol or image as one of the easiest and most powerful ways to access your inner self. A symbol is not only a visualization of our inner processes but also allows us to re-experience them and when used imaginatively – can become a vehicle to access our hearts, our authenticity and assist with spiritual transformation! This exercise can also be very helpful for dream work – especially if you have an image or symbol that comes up in a dream repeatedly.

You can find this fun new worksheet here in our Rebel Woman Store for just $3.95!

3) I’ve also reduced my coaching prices – significantly! In keeping with our name we wanted to make coaching simpler, more flexible and more accessible for everyone. So, we’ve slashed our prices, abolished our minimum 6 month sign-up and you can have a session as often or as infrequently as you like. It’s that simple!
Our new rates are: Just $75 for a one-hour session
And we GUARANTEE you will always leave with an action plan!
Simply contact Emma-Louise to book a session, pay (using Paypal) and you’re good to go!

Oh and NEWS! I was interviewed recently as part of “Winds of Change”. Winds of Change with Jivi is a TV programme that shares the stories of industry leaders, resident experts, and people in our communities whose curiosity about the world resulted in extraordinary discoveries. Our guests are living life to help others reach their greatest potential, and want to share what they have learned with you.”

The program won’t be aired until early 2011 – and it was fun! So, watch this space!

I hope to be posting more regularly again soon, and in the meantime,
REMEMBER to check out our awesome free tools and resources!

Experts interviewed for a report by NBC News talked about “Overworked, [...]]]> I was just interviewed by the awesome Brooke and Monti on their Radio Show “The Ladies Room” at Movin 92.5 – about Superwoman Syndrome. Hopefully I’ll be able to give you a copy of the actual interview segment soon – I’ll let you know. In the meantime:

Experts interviewed for a report by NBC News talked about “Overworked, overwhelmed and overscheduled women juggling families, friends and careers are turning to stimulants, painkillers and anti-anxiety meds to help launch them through endless to-do lists,” the article goes on to say. “Women load their lives with so much that they get in over their heads, and some turn to prescription pills to cope,” said Talia Witkowski, a psychologist in Los Angeles.

So, here are my thoughts on Overwhelm & 7 Tips to BEAT it!

Do you ever experience forgetfulness, racing thoughts, daydreaming at inconvenient moments, become snappy, have difficulty falling or staying asleep or find it hard some days to ‘see the wood for the trees’? These signs of stress have become so common that we accept them as part of life today.

In fact, these days we’re better off than we’ve ever been – most of us in the Western World have no worries about food, clean water, clothing and shelter. And technology has made things faster, smaller and more useable – entertaining us, saving us money, time, stress and hassle!

But instead of using the time saved to relax while the dishwasher is on we simply cram more into our already busy lives. And we can now be in constant contact with everyone at all times via multiple phone numbers, email, Facebook, Twitter and many different forms of instant and text-messaging.

The explosion of automation, possibility and choice means we are constantly over-committed, over-connected, over-informed and overwhelmed!

The good news is that overwhelm is something we largely create for ourselves. We try to manage time better when we really should be managing ourselves better – doing less and looking after our needs more.

7 Top Tips to BEAT your OVERWHELM!

1. What’s your overwhelm indicator? How do you know you’ve gone too far, taken on too much or are pushing yourself too hard? Just starting to notice when you feel overwhelmed is a huge step forward. As people get better at noticing, they learn to stop, think and do something about it.
2. Simply stop and ask yourself the question; “OK, so what’s the EASY way to do this?” Listen to your inner wisdom and implement!
3. Identify your Top 5 Priorities and make these your focus. People’s top priorities often include things like family/friends, health, financial security and being happy or enjoying life. Next time you feel overwhelmed you can regain calm by asking “What would help my family?” or “What would be best for my health/financial situation/happiness right now?”
4. Create calm in your mind. Place your feet on the floor and focus on your breathing for a moment. Now close your eyes and imagine your thoughts, tasks, “to do’s” etc. as a river raging around you. Slowly imagine the river getting calmer and calmer until it is a quiet, gently flowing stream. Once it is a gentle stream, imagine it getting smaller and trickling into a beautiful, quiet, still pond. Now you are ready to continue with your day – one thing at a time.
5. Just make a decision. Sometimes NOT making a decision adds to your overwhelm, as options and possibilities crowd your mind. Simply make the best choice with the information available to you at the time and CHOOSE to be happy with it.
6. Re-learn how to say “No”. There will ALWAYS be more to do than time available. Once you know what’s REALLY important to you, make that your priority and let go of the rest! Re-learn how to say “No” and you’ll feel amazing!
7. Set yourself up well for the day. People know they cope with daily stresses better when they are well rested. If you go to bed just 30 minutes earlier each day you will start your day feeling more rested and better-fueled. Also, the TV stimulates your brain so turn off the TV at least an hour before bedtime and allow your brain to unwind.

I once read that the harder you push yourself, the harder your self pushes back. So, remember that your life is a never-ending series of choices – make yours wisely!

Remember, we ALWAYS LOVE to hear YOUR thoughts!
Just leave your reply below!

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I don’t know about you, but one of my struggles with understanding guilt [...]]]> Part of my ‘journey’ was (and still is) about setting fewer ‘rules’ and being more spontaneous. So, this morning I was reading about guilt – and found it so helpful that I decided to spontaneously share my learnings about guilt with you right away!

I don’t know about you, but one of my struggles with understanding guilt has always been that even though it feels ‘bad’ I can see there’s a NEED for guilt in the human species. And yet guilt seems so unnecessarily prevalent in our society – show me a mother who doesn’t feel (often crippling) guilt…

So, there are apparently two types of guilt; 1) REASONABLE GUILT and 2) UNREASONABLE GUILT

REASONABLE GUILT comes from a lack of internal integrity – we stepped away from our own truth and did something clearly ‘wrong’ in our own mind. When we feel reasonable or appropriate guilt we return to balance through facing it and making amends. Reasonable guilt leads us to confront ourselves, resolve the matter as best we can and move on. It’s a mature response that leads us to our own learning and accountability.

UNREASONABLE GUILT however is a learned response - it is triggered by something external to us - an outside demand we could not or did not meet. Unreasonable or neurotic guilt is about BLAME and originates from fear. When we feel unreasonable guilt, making amends does not resolve our guilty feelings, we self-judge and end up going round in circles, suffering unproductive pain.

So, WHY does unreasonable guilt hang around? Because we’re avoiding something. Perhaps we’re avoiding losing someone’s approval or love or we’re avoiding feeling angry at someone or perhaps we put our needs above someone else’s. And then there’s the long shot – perhaps there’ s something big we don’t want to face (like our partner no longer loves us), so we find ways to blame ourselves for their behaviour and feel guilty about that rather than face the truth. OK, so the last one is pretty deep, but it does happen.

So, how do you know it’s UNREASONABLE GUILT? Well, if  you feel ANY of these:

• You feel limited – like there is only one course of action
• You feel stuck or trapped
• You don’t feel fully responsible or accountable
• You’re protecting someone else’s feelings
• You’ve apologised, made amends and yet you STILL feel guilty
• You feel to BLAME and on some level, perhaps you feel the need to be punished

Whereas with REASONABLE GUILT:

• You know exactly why you feel this way – it’s clear cut
• You feel responsible and accountable
• It’s resolved by stopping the behaviour, facing it and taking relevant and appropriate amending action
• We acknowledge and affirm our entire cycle of actions from beginning to end – leading to learning, self-forgiveness and ultimately higher self-esteem.

So, what do you do when you’re feeling UNREASONABLE GUILT?

1. ALLOW the guilt, stop fighting it!
2. NOTICE what the guilt is covering up. What are you avoiding facing?
   Journal or write about it if it helps.
3. Acknowledge and FACE WHATEVER is there
   This takes courage but is SO worth it!
4. ACCEPT the situation AS IT IS
   Forgive and have compassion for yourself and anyone involved…

When it comes to UNREASONABLE guilt ONLY (because we NEED reasonable guilt), use this quote to help you:

“Make choices WITH guilt, not because of it”  David Richo

All too often we think because we FEEL guilty – it must be true, we are a bad person. But guilt is JUST A THOUGHT – and not reality. If you can separate these two – and face your thoughts – you are well on your way!

Let me know how you get on – as always we LOVE to hear what you are thinking
just comment and leave a reply below!