Another word used to mean the same thing is surrender. People say we should surrender to what is, stop resisting reality, let go of trying to control everything. It’s about moving from [...]]]> Letting go is something that coaches and spiritual teachers often talk about – but what does it mean? How can we actually do it? 

Another word used to mean the same thing is surrender. People say we should surrender to what is, stop resisting reality, let go of trying to control everything. It’s about moving from a space of fear – to one of love. But in this masculine patriarchal world that many of us live in – love is not taken seriously. What can ‘love’ have to do with business – and most importantly – successful business?

Well, I think love is the KEY to successful business. If you love your customers, if you love your staff, if you love your shareholders – how could you be unsuccessful?

Holding this kind of contrary viewpoint takes courage – it goes against what we are taught. And I believe that by letting go – we learn to love ourselves, to love what is and to love others without trying to fix them or their problems for them.

So, if you are one of my many readers who are “Type A” personalities – and like myself you need to LET GO more – you may like this poem written by Louise Hay herself. I was inspired when I received it in my email this morning (I’m a member of the Hay House Wisdom Community) and I hope it helps and inspires you too. Thanks Louise!

Letting Go

To “let go” does not mean to stop caring, it means I can’t do it for someone else.

To “let go” is not to cut myself off, it’s the realization I can’t control another.

To “let go” is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.

To “let go” is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.

To “let go” is not to care for, but to care about.

To “let go” is not to fix, but to be supportive.

To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.

To “let go” is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own destinies.

To “let go” is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.

To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept.

To “let go” is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.

To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.

To “let go” is to fear less and love more.

US school cancels prom ‘over lesbian date’ See the BBC news article here.

I think the bit that got me was that when she asked about the ban on taking a same sex date to the prom – she was told to remember where she was. And where was that [...]]]>

Curious what you guys think about this…

US school cancels prom ‘over lesbian date’ See the BBC news article here.

I think the bit that got me was that when she asked about the ban on taking a same sex date to the prom – she was told to remember where she was. And where was that – the United States of America! So much for equality for all…

Constance McMillen is one courageous 18 year old. Bravo!

Remember, we always LOVE to hear from you.
Just comment and leave a reply below!

Like this? Feel free to share it with friends using the “Share This” button below

So, as I built my coaching business and started [...]]]> When I first moved to Canada I have to confess – I was still a little afraid of women. Growing up I was a tomboy, was schooled in sciences and had just left behind a 10 year career in technology and management. I was used to hanging around guys…

So, as I built my coaching business and started networking at exclusively female networking groups – for the first time – I got a taste of the AWESOME POWER and energy that a group of women has. It’s so much more authentic than the jokey, ‘punch each other on the shoulder’ male friendship style that I was used to. Although there is definitely something to be said for the ’straightforward’ way that men have of dealing with issues and conflicts…

Which takes me to the TV show “Sex and the City”. While I loved the fabulous outfits, hairstyles and glamorous lifestyles – what I loved MOST was the honest, no-holds barred friendships between the four women. I loved that they were each so different, that they all had flaws and that even though they each made ‘mistakes’, they FORGAVE each other and moved on.

I find myself wondering if THIS was the real fantasy? Can women can be honest with each other, say what they REALLY think AND remain friends… Because in my experience, when I’ve been honest, it has often backfired with quite traumatic results! What about you?

It seems to me that when it comes to female friendship so many of us have not got out of 5th grade. We AGONIZE over how to say no to someone, or how to tell them we don’t like their new hairstyle or we bite our tongue when someone upsets us instead of letting them know how we feel.

And yes, that’s me too. While I’m honest and straightforward most of the time I still have a habit (which I’m working on) of keeping quiet when someone has upset me…

Human beings were meant to live collectively – as a tribe. And that means we NEED social graces to oil the wheels of our interactions with others. But why do we hide our true thoughts and feelings with people who are our friends? Surely they – of all people – deserve to see who we really are, know what we really think and feel?

I know what holds me back sometimes is simply FEAR. Fear that I need this person’s APPROVAL – no matter what the cost. Fear that I’ll upset them – and won’t be forgiven. Fear of what others may think of me if the ’story’ is passed on. A fear of being considered rude or selfish. Essentially a fear that if I say what I really think – I might be rejected, excluded or ridiculed in some way.

And so we stay quiet. We say we’re fine, when really we’re hurt. We say the new outfit is great, when really our friend needed to know that, yes, her bum really does look big in that. Or we say “Yes”, when every bone in our body was screaming “NO!” And as we all know, these unsaid things build up over time, often escaping when we least want them to. And that’s when the real damage gets done.

What I would like to see in female friendships is MORE honesty and acceptance and LESS taking things so personally! I’d like to see us looking after our own needs. I’d like to see us celebrating our personal differences and being more comfortable with ourselves. I’d like to see more vulnerability – where you put your real self out there and trust 1) in yourself to cope with whatever happens and 2) in your friends to honour who you are.

Next I’ll be taking this a step further and looking at the other side of the coin – learning not to take things personally – so you can cope with your friend’s new found honesty!

But in the meantime I’m curious: Do you tell your friends what you really think? Do they see the real you? If not, why not? Comment below and let us know! And if you are truly yourself/honest with your friends we’d love to hear your tips…

Finally, if you feel like it perhaps you’ll ponder over the next week:

1. “What parts of yourself do you hide when you’re around your friends?” & Why?
2. “What do you not say to your friends?” & Why?
3. “Do you really know what your friends think of you?”
   (this last one is a trick question – of course you don’t! But feel free to ponder on it anyway – or ask them!)

And once you’ve let us know your thoughts,  remember to check out this month’s Quickie Exercises and the Friendship Map on our Tools and Resources Page.