 Our VERY FIRST REBELLION is linked to this month’s theme of goals. It’s about picking goals that YOU truly want, that get YOU excited – not what everyone else or society thinks you should do… What are your SECRET dreams?
OK, I admit, this doesn’t SOUND very rebellious. Until you try to do it. And realise that it’s very easy to dismiss our deepest held dreams and ideas as silly, not meaningful enough – or just not what we’re supposed to do with our lives.
Perhaps you want to sing in a rock band or dance. Maybe you want to travel. Or what about wanting to write, paint, be an actress, teach yoga, live in Italy, run your own bookstore, or like me – run off to the countryside and grow your own food and vegetables? Our SECRET dreams are often creative or soulful – things society tells us are not worthwhile or ‘sensible’ to make a living at, but they can be anything that goes against our upbringing. For example I once had a client who was brought up in a ‘giving’ charitable household that disdained money, but she wanted to earn lots of money and be a hotshot business executive…
Your SECRET dreams are the dreams you haven’t YET turned into goals – because they don’t fit how we think our lives SHOULD be lived…
So, how about a few questions to help you get started? TIP: If you can’t think of an answer, just let it be for a moment. Think back to your childhood – how would you answer that question if you were a child?
- Start by making a list of everything you want to be, do and have in life – we call this your Wacky, Wild List. Include EVERYTHING you can think of from ‘boring’ and ‘normal’ to wacky and wild. If you want some help with this check out our Tools & Resources Page and get your free “Wacky Wild List Brainstorming Tool”
- Ask yourself, “What are my secret dreams and goals?”, “What do I think and dream about that I dismiss as impossible, silly, a waste of time or perhaps something for the future?”
- What gets you really excited about life? What, when you think about doing it, do you feel excited and happy about – all the way through you? Ask “What do you want MORE of in your life? What EXCITES and INSPIRES you?” (Make a list)
- What, when you’re doing it, do you get so absorbed in that you feel at peace inside and forget all about time and the world outside? Ask yourself, “What do I TRULY enjoy?” Remember, we tend to enjoy what we’re good at or have a talent for – although that doesn’t mean we won’t have to work at it to improve…
- List the top 10 things in life that give you joy – what makes your heart sing? When you’ve finished, what do you notice? Do any of these items appear on any of your other answers? If you want some help with this check out our Tools & Resources Page and get your free “What Makes My Heart Sing” Tool
- Ask yourself, “What would I try now if you KNEW I could not fail?” Make a list of at least 10 things – and start ONE!
- What would you do or try if you had all the; money/time/confidence/support and encouragement/energy you needed?”
- If you were to consider what’s POSSIBLE instead of what’s PROBABLE, what would you do differently?
- As the Spice Girls said, “So, tell me what you want, what you REALLY, really want?”
So, while some of your dreams may be life or career-changing the rebellion I’m talking about here is is acknowledging – at the VERY least to yourself – your SECRET dreams.
And then finding a way to bring more of them into your life – whether you work towards a BIG goal or simply bring the activities you love into your life by taking a course, starting a hobby or even volunteering. Even if you do it for ‘fun’, who knows where it may lead…
So, go on REBEL! And bring out the real, authentic you!
Remember, we always LOVE to hear what you’ve learned & what you’re thinking.
Just comment and leave a reply below!
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 DH Lawrence in 1906 at 21 yrs old I’ve just finished reading Lady Chatterley’s Lover by D.H. Lawrence. It was first published in 1928, banned and not published again until the late 1950s – even then causing a stir because of it’s sexual content. Mr Lawrence was quite the rebel…
So firstly, YES, there is enough sex to make a Harlequin romance look tame.
And I have to confess that I actually found the book quite hard to read (many long paragraphs and some rather boring expositions/discussions in the early part). But I stuck it out – and I’m very glad I did!
The sexual liaisons are written in a very philosophical yet animalistic/natural way… It felt very real, not overly dramatised or romanticised. In the book there seemed to be some big themes around:
- Being in touch with nature/the environment ‘v’ industrialisation
- How intellect and education separates us from ourselves and our true nature
- Money and the outdated class system in Britain at the time
- How men and women are expected to be – why can’t a man be tender and still manly? (Sounds good to me!)
- And of course the ‘intellectualisation’ and disassociation of the sexual act…
Overall, themes of power – sex, love, education, money and class. But what I found most interesting was how relevant these themes still are today. I was surprised that even in the 1920s people of all classes were focused on money (spending what they have or wanting more) and seeking pleasure instead of LIVING meaningful lives and being in touch with their bodies, each other and their real selves/nature.
Overall I found the book unexpectedly spiritual and still very relevant. Anyone else?
Remember, we always LOVE to hear what you’re thinking
just comment and leave a reply below!
 It’s week 2 of January 2010. Where are you with your resolutions?
Because millions of people around the globe set resolutions for the year ahead – but most give up part way through. In fact according to statistics, 23% of resolutions are broken in the first week and 45% by the end of the month.
Each ‘New Year’ gives us another opportunity to let go of the past and define the future we want. And wherever you are right now, it’s always helpful to have some tips to help up along the way…
Firstly, what can you do to improve your resolution success stats? Well you need to get committed! We say, “I’d like to eat more healthily, stop smoking, make more time for me,” but really it’s more of a ‘nice to have’ or something we feel we ‘should’ do: The key elements of making a COMMITMENT or a DECISION are simply not there.
Have you noticed that when we really want something enough we FIND a way to MAKE it happen? When people express their goals and then repeatedly avoid their actions it’s time to explore where they are holding themselves back. Because sometimes it doesn’t matter how much you WANT the goal, your hidden resistance will find a way to sabotage you… I’m sure you’ve experienced this yourself at some time – and in coaching we call this your ‘secondary gain’.
To identify your secondary gain you can ask, “How do I benefit by staying just as I am?” Maybe in the case of a fitness goal, you get to stay in bed longer in the morning or you get to continue enjoying your daily doughnut (yum!).
The famous motivational speaker Anthony Robbins says its all about pleasure and pain: When the pain gets bad enough, we WILL do something about it. But often the pain of where we are at the moment simply isn’t enough for us to make the changes we think we want... So we choose to put up with known, familiar pain, rather than take the ‘hit’ of unknown, unfamiliar short-term pain to change our habits.
10 Tips to help you KEEP your Resolutions this year!
- Choose something for YOURSELF, not because someone else (or your inner critic) wants it for you.
- Keep it SIMPLE and choose ONE THING to focus on. Don’t spread your attention too wide.
- Keep it SMALL. If the resolution is TOO large a change it will be all too easy to fall back on ‘old habits’.
- Make it WORTH DOING – challenging enough to hold your interest and make you feel good when complete.
- State your resolution in the POSITIVE eg. If giving up nail-biting try “I have beautiful nails” so every time you think about it you are reminded what you WANT and not what you DON’T want.
- See a ‘slip’ as an opportunity to REFOCUS. What can you learn, change, avoid or do differently next time?
- TELL PEOPLE you trust about your resolution and ask them to hold you accountable.
- If you have a bigger goal, choose a TRANSITION step or ‘journey goal’ for your resolution and create a firm foundation for your future.
- Get COMMITTED and WRITE IT DOWN! Now put it somewhere you will see it regularly.
- Use dates and measures to make the resolution SPECIFIC and MEASURABLE – how else will you know you are on track or have succeeded? When we see progress or an improvement it spurs us to keep going.
So, maybe you now have a better idea of why we don’t meet our resolutions… This year, will you make a DECISION to commit to your resolution and ‘just do it’ or will it be a ‘nice to have’? The fabulous thing is YOU get to decide!
And if you want some help setting some goals for 2010 you may like our awesome free Goal-Setting Tool – a 3 page Funsheet – complete with a Summary Page to put up and remind you…
Let me know how you get on – as always we LOVE to hear what you are thinking
just comment and leave a reply below!
Wow – I was a little stunned by this article – bigger parking spaces for women drivers in China – with pink/purple paint to appeal to women’s sense of colour… http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8432887.stm
What do you think?
 Announcing our latest featured rebel woman and Trailblazer – Eleanor Roosevelt!
Eleanor Roosevelt is responsible for some of my favourite quotes – a powerful woman, ahead of her time and an advocate for women’s rights – as well as for black Americans and the poor.
This post written by the awesome Ellie Langford Parks – a fellow rebel, writer and change advocate on Salt Spring Island.
Read more about Eleanor Roosevelt here…
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