News – US Cancels Prom Over Lesbian Date

Curious what you guys think about this…

US school cancels prom ‘over lesbian date’ See the BBC news article here.

I think the bit that got me was that when she asked about the ban on taking a same sex date to the prom – she was told to remember where she was. And where was that – the United States of America! So much for equality for all…

Constance McMillen is one courageous 18 year old. Bravo!

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Stop Trying to be a Superwoman!

I was just interviewed by the awesome Brooke and Monti on their Radio Show “The Ladies Room” at Movin 92.5 – about Superwoman Syndrome. Hopefully I’ll be able to give you a copy of the actual interview segment soon – I’ll let you know. In the meantime:

Experts interviewed for a report by NBC News talked about “Overworked, overwhelmed and overscheduled women juggling families, friends and careers are turning to stimulants, painkillers and anti-anxiety meds to help launch them through endless to-do lists,” the article goes on to say. “Women load their lives with so much that they get in over their heads, and some turn to prescription pills to cope,” said Talia Witkowski, a psychologist in Los Angeles.

So, here are my thoughts on Overwhelm & 7 Tips to BEAT it!

Do you ever experience forgetfulness, racing thoughts, daydreaming at inconvenient moments, become snappy, have difficulty falling or staying asleep or find it hard some days to ‘see the wood for the trees’? These signs of stress have become so common that we accept them as part of life today.

In fact, these days we’re better off than we’ve ever been – most of us in the Western World have no worries about food, clean water, clothing and shelter. And technology has made things faster, smaller and more useable – entertaining us, saving us money, time, stress and hassle!

But instead of using the time saved to relax while the dishwasher is on we simply cram more into our already busy lives. And we can now be in constant contact with everyone at all times via multiple phone numbers, email, Facebook, Twitter and many different forms of instant and text-messaging.

The explosion of automation, possibility and choice means we are constantly over-committed, over-connected, over-informed and overwhelmed!

The good news is that overwhelm is something we largely create for ourselves. We try to manage time better when we really should be managing ourselves better – doing less and looking after our needs more.

7 Top Tips to BEAT your OVERWHELM!
  1. What’s your overwhelm indicator? How do you know you’ve gone too far, taken on too much or are pushing yourself too hard? Just starting to notice when you feel overwhelmed is a huge step forward. As people get better at noticing, they learn to stop, think and do something about it.
  2. Simply stop and ask yourself the question; “OK, so what’s the EASY way to do this?” Listen to your inner wisdom and implement!
  3. Identify your Top 5 Priorities and make these your focus. People’s top priorities often include things like family/friends, health, financial security and being happy or enjoying life. Next time you feel overwhelmed you can regain calm by asking “What would help my family?” or “What would be best for my health/financial situation/happiness right now?”
  4. Create calm in your mind. Place your feet on the floor and focus on your breathing for a moment. Now close your eyes and imagine your thoughts, tasks, “to do’s” etc. as a river raging around you. Slowly imagine the river getting calmer and calmer until it is a quiet, gently flowing stream. Once it is a gentle stream, imagine it getting smaller and trickling into a beautiful, quiet, still pond. Now you are ready to continue with your day – one thing at a time.
  5. Just make a decision. Sometimes NOT making a decision adds to your overwhelm, as options and possibilities crowd your mind. Simply make the best choice with the information available to you at the time and CHOOSE to be happy with it.
  6. Re-learn how to say “No”. There will ALWAYS be more to do than time available. Once you know what’s REALLY important to you, make that your priority and let go of the rest! Re-learn how to say “No” and you’ll feel amazing!
  7. Set yourself up well for the day. People know they cope with daily stresses better when they are well rested. If you go to bed just 30 minutes earlier each day you will start your day feeling more rested and better-fueled. Also, the TV stimulates your brain so turn off the TV at least an hour before bedtime and allow your brain to unwind.

I once read that the harder you push yourself, the harder your self pushes back. So, remember that your life is a never-ending series of choices – make yours wisely!

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News – Progress for Women in India!

I like to include news items about women around the world – as a way of reminding myself how lucky we are – and how many women there are who are still striving for safety, equality and justice.

So, a landmark bill has just been passed in India which reserves a third of seats for women in parliament (after vigorous resistance from a small group of socialist MPs).

See the BBC online news correspondent for India’s article here

What makes this article interesting is some of the facts – for example only 54% of women in India are literate, compared with more than 76% of men, and history – the only supporter of reserving seats for women in parliament 50 years ago was a man and his comments make hilarious reading. And why am I not surprised that “studies of India’s village councils and municipalities – where a third of the seats are already reserved for women – have found that increased political representation of women leads to more investment in health and education, less corruption and more altruism.”

Hurrah for India’s women!

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Rebel Question: “If you were to look back 3 years from now, what MUST have happened?”

Usually in coaching we try to avoid the words “Must” and “Should” but here it is used to help you FOCUS on what’s most important…

Make a list of 10 things & use these to set your goals! 

NOTES: Don’t ponder this too hard, just pick up pen and paper, OR add a comment to this post right now and start TYPING – see what comes out when you “freewrite”…

As always, I’ll lead the way – here is my response, in 3 years:

1) Our guest cottage is completed, advertised and regularly rented out
2) Rebel Women Cafe will have stacks of Tools & Resources – it will be a “Go to” website for coaching answers!
3) We will have gone to Reims, France (Champagne region) for our 10th wedding anniversary
4) We will be growing most of our own vegetables/food and storing/canning for winter
5) We will have chickens (for eggs!) and possibly goats!
6) I will have written a book
7) I will have resolved the issues with my endometriosis/ovarian cyst etc (or at least have much less pain!)
8) I will be fully established here in the Salt Spring Community
9) I will have established a way of working that allows me time to do more gardening/spend more time outside
10) I will feel more spiritually enlightened/be noticeably further along my spiritual path.

Wow – this was a hard one for me. There isn’t much I actually want or need anymore – but I would like to work less, play more, have less pain (endometriosis etc) – and be running our B&B to help people get back to nature!

Remember, we LOVE to hear YOUR answers to these questions!
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GUEST POST: Courage from Within

Our second article on Courage from Christina Sestan follows beautifully from her previous post on Fear. Read on!

Courage is the currency of growth and change. If you want to pursue a new goal or stimulate more personal development in your life, you can always use more courage in your bank.

We won’t journey far without courage. We need it to change, to stand up for what we believe in, to push through our fears and to go for our dreams. It takes courage to pursue the life we passionately want to be living. Why are so many of us standing on the riverbank gazing longingly across at the other side? Maybe it’s because we’re still trying to find the courage to jump in.

Remember the cowardly lion in the Wizard of Oz? He tearfully acknowledges his cowardice and shame to Dorothy and the others, “Wouldn’t you feel degraded to be seen in the company of a cowardly lion? My life has been simply unbearable.” Life would be fulfilled, he thinks, “If I only had the nerve!” He joins the group destined for Emerald City, hoping that the great and powerful Oz will give him what he’s looking for.

But rather than receiving courage, the lion learns that he has possessed courage all along—it was simply a matter of perception. “As for you my fine friend,” the wizard says to him, “you are a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger, you have no courage. You’re confusing courage with wisdom.”

What the lion had spent his life searching for was his all along. Are we holding on to a limiting belief about our own lack of courage?

Ask a Courage Expert

Q: What is courage? What builds it and what prevents it?
A: Courage is the capacity to both experience fear and to carry on in the face of that fear (see Mark Twain quotation). Our fears often seem unceasing and insurmountable; courage is essential if we don’t want to stay stuck.

The root of courage varies. It may be born from survival through extraordinary circumstances – like war or disaster. Or it may emerge when there’s no burning building in sight. Some people describe their courageous responses as instinctive; they don’t stop to think. Other people believe their courage comes from a non-negotiable commitment to a value or belief – like freedom, equality or truth.

What is clear is that in order to draw on courage, we need to practice it. We need to face the challenges and adversity of our lives and place ourselves in situations where we have responsibility, some fear, and a need to extend ourselves.

Nothing will undermine courage more effectively than someone else bulldozing all hazards out of our path. Parents take note. Adversity and mistakes are essential for developing courage.

Ordinary Acts of Courage

We easily recognize courage when it takes form as heroic action: firefighters rush into a burning building, a lone protester blocks a column of tanks, a black woman refuses to move to the back of the bus.

Extraordinary acts of courage like these may be difficult to imagine in your own lives. But what about the everyday courage needed to live an authentic life? If burning buildings aren’t your thing, try some of these on for size:

  1. Take a stand against the dominant thinking of your friends and family when your heart-felt beliefs differ from theirs.
  2. Dare to forgive even when everyone around you believes you were wronged and are justified in your anger.
  3. Take a moment of “quiet time” to ground and reflect on what is important even when your phone is ringing off the hook and everyone needs something from you RIGHT NOW!
  4. Risk becoming a target of criticism by speaking up against racist or sexist jokes around the water cooler.

“When a resolute young fellow steps up to the great bully, the world, and takes him boldly by the beard, he is often surprised to find it comes off in his hand, and that it was only tied on to scare away the timid adventurers.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.” Mark Twain

Article courtesy of the awesome Christina Sestan. (c) Citrus Coaching Solutions 2010. Please do not duplicate this article without the author’s permission.

Today’s Date

TrailBlazing Women

Bookshelf

Friends and Enemies by Dorothy Rowe
The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman